Lovers at the Chameleon Club, Paris 1932 - Francine Prose

Here are five things to do in the city of l'amour when you have a few centimes in your pocket and the women of your dreams has left you for your best friend...........

Four: Drink an entire bottle of wine, then stand outside the hotel where your beloved has shacked up with your former best friend.  Look up at his window.  Imagine them in bed until you get hard.  Fall to your knees with your hand outstretched and wail, Help me help me, like that crazy Spanish beggar in the rue de Rivoli.  Repeat until the hotel manager comes out and threatens to call the cops.